Friday, March 11, 2011

are you ready for the end of times?

okay. This isn't going to be a  super-serious 'the sky is falling' kindof post. I figure you all are smart enough to make your own decisions as to whether  it's just an acorn falling, or something more serious.

via this page

A quiz - How ready are you for the zombie apocalypse?

You might be accepting of the idea of bad things happening soon, you might be in denial, you might even think they’re already happening. Whatever your perception, eventually the gods/ lady luck/ karma are going to end up flattening the thus-far rather lucky human race.   Is it going to be zombies, or wild weather, or Government breakdown, or nuclear war, or even just a massive stock market crash? Who knows. On the assumption that it IS coming though, how ready are you for when it happens?

*disclaimer: this is not scientifically designed. It is for entertainment purposes only. And to make you think.*

This is old school quiz style. Grab a pencil and paper, or a notepad file, and write down the question numbers and the *most applicable* answer  (one answer per question, unless noted, and pick the one that is closest to the truth for you)

1. Lets start with an easy one: food.  How prepared are you food-wise for an emergency situation?
    A. I only eat fresh produce, and shop at the grocery or market at least three times a week.
    B. I have at least 3 months of canned and dried goods stocked in my cupboards.
    C. I eat out at restaurants most of the time, my fridge is used for holding beverages and ketchup.
    D. I have 3 years worth of MRE’s once my six months of canned goods and freezer full of food are used up.
    E. I’ve got a few bulk staples, but I’d run out of food in a couple of weeks.
    F. I’ll just go to my mom’s. She makes good food.

2. Okay. Let’s say there’s no electricity, or you’re stranded for some reason out of doors. How are your survival skills?
    A. that’s what a cell phone is for, right?
    B. I can start a fire with matches, own at least one pocket knife, and know what poison ivy looks like.
    C. I live in a city, but I’m prepared. I’ve got a generator, candles, and a solar-powered radio.
    D. I’ve done extensive wilderness camping, and love going out in the forest for a week with nothing but what I’ve got in my pockets
    E. I’ve got a book on survival skills, and I’ve read it.
    F. I know how to create a shelter, start a fire without matches or a lighter, and find water for survival.

3. Water. The stuff of life. Do you got some?
    A. I’ve got a six pack of coke and a dozen beer. I’ll be fine.
    B. I know a local above-water source or low-tech well, and have a decontamination system/plan in place for when my in-house water is used up.
    C. I have a water cooler and at least 2 - 3.5gal jugs.
    D. I have a large storage tote or set of containers of drinkable water that I change at least once a year, when I cycle out my old canned goods from my emergency stash
    E. I’ve got some iodine tablets in with my camping gear. I hear they make the water taste horrible though. Oh, And I’ve heard you can drink the water from your toilet tank too. Eew.

4. This zombie madness is lasting longer than you expected. Your food has run out. What do you do now?
    A. I pull out my foraging manual, and start figuring out what plants I can find to eat.
    B. It shouldn’t run out, because I’ll be gardening and hunting/farming to keep augmenting it. I’ll have my larder stocked full come fall.
    C. I’ll  seriously start considering cannibalism…eventually. After all, if the Donner party could do it, so can i.
    D. I’ll barter one of my skills to a local surviving farmer for food.
    E. I’ll go out into the country and steal some. After all farms have lots of food, that’s where food is made,
    F. I run to the grocery store. Duh.

5. How reliant are you on medicine/drugs/alcohol for your daily physical or mental well-being?
    A. I’m on a lot of different medications prescribed by my doctor.
    B. I’ve got a drug/alcohol/cigarette  habit. But I can kick it any time.
    C. My body is a temple. I don’t use any habit forming or unhealthy products, and only ingest homegrown food and clean water.
    D. Sure I’ve got a habit, but I grow/brew my own. So piss off. No, you can’t have any.
    E. I’m on some sort of regular medication that I take all the time.
    F. I’m an occasional user of either meds or drugs/alcohol. I don’t use anything all the time though.

6. Oh dear. Someone has been seriously injured. Can you help them?
    A. I’ve got basic first aid knowledge, but not much past that.
    B. I’m a doctor or nurse, and I regularly do things like set bones and suture wounds
    C. I tend to faint every time I see blood
    D. I’ve got a book around here somewhere on medicine. I’ll just look up their symptoms and see what it says to do.
    E. I’ve got basic knowledge of first aid and emergency training, but for anything tough I’ll likely have to rely on either someone else, or on a book to figure it out.
    F. I would perform CPR on them. Or the Heimlich maneuver. I’m also pretty good with bandaids.

7. Gee, Fluffy, your Pekinese puppy has run out of food. What do you do?
    A. get out a sharp knife, say a prayer, then butcher him. No way are we going to waste valuable protein.
    B. I‘ll let him have some of my food. That way we can starve together.
    C. I let him outside, so he can fend for himself. He’s a wild animal. He’ll be fine.
    D. I’ll give him to the nice lady across the street. She’s got a bunch of pets…. Though  I haven’t seen any of them lately…
    E. I’ll go and find a store-house with more dogfood. I’m sure no-one’s thought to raid them yet.
    F. I’ll put him down and we’ll bury him. No sense being cruel and letting him starve.

8. Slavering zombies have showed up in your yard, demanding brains, as well as your TV and valuables. How prepared are you to protect your own?
    A. I have a gun and I've taken it to a hunting range a few times.
    B. I’ve got a buncha kitchen knives. That’s gotta slow them down.
    C. I have been in the army. I have the skills I need, if I have to protect myself and my family..
    D. I go hunting regularly, and am proficient with both a blade and firearm.
    E. I’ve got mad ninja skillz I learned from a game on my X-box.
    F. I can use  both blades as well as firearms/bows with skill, but in a pinch, I can go without.  With skill and training, almost _anything_ can be used as a weapon. Particularly against un-skilled zombies.

9. Damn. This zombie madness seems to be unending. What skills do you have that you can use for long term survival?
* for this question mark down each letter that applies to you*

    A. I know how to make things out of wood or metal using low-tech means.
    B. I can make fabric from raw materials, and/or make clothing and other useful items from fabric or animal skins. Or I can tan animal hides.
    C. I'm really good with a computer, but I have no non-electric skills. Guess I’ll just have to steal or kill for what I want.
    D. I’m not very skilled yet, but I’m willing to learn, even if it means I’m the guy doing the boring jobs for a long time. At least I’ll be surviving!
    E. I am a proficient gardener, and know at least 3 ways of preserving food without electricity.
    F. I am good with animals and have experience caring for livestock OR I can hunt without using a gun, successfully. And have.
    G. I can (and have) brewed and/or distilled alcohol. And it tastes good
    H. I’ve got lots of books and files on my computer with how-to manuals. I’m sure I can figure something out.
    I. I have medical training, and sufficient skills to use it.
    J. those who can’t…. yeah. I can teach. I can teach the 3 R’s to children, so they can be smart enough to get out of this mess eventually!
    K. I’m good at scavenging and making do, and can MacGyver stuff together fairly efficiently.


Overall, questions are scored 0-5 points, 5 points indicating the highest preparation, 0 points indicating little or no preparation.

Note: for question 9, points are additive, not one answer only!

1. A-1   B-4   C-0   D-5   E-2   F-1
2. A-0   B-3   C-1   D-5   E-1   F4

3. A-0   B-5   C-2   D-4   E-1
4. A-3   B-5   C-2   D-4   E-1   F-0

5. A-0   B-1   C-5   D-5   E-1   F-4
6. A-3   B-5   C-0   D-1   E-4   F-2

7. A-2   B-1   C-1   D-3   E-0   F-4
8. A-2   B-1   C-4   D-4   E-0   F-5


9. A-3   B-3   C-0   D-2   E-3   F-3   G-3   H-1   I-3   J-2   K-3

If you scored:

You have a lot of work ahead of you. Perhaps this just isn’t something you’ve thought of before, or you purposefully decided to hide your head in the sand. Taking a first aid course, a gardening class or a handgun training course might be a good idea.  Think about small steps you can make now, like buying some foods with long shelf-life, and getting a jug of water to put away in case of an emergency. Every small step in the right direction counts!

Well you’ve got some skills, but you have a lot to learn. You maybe have more ‘book learning’ than hands-on, and that’s something you can concentrate on fixing. Perhaps you don’t have a lot of useful skills. Ask your local woodworker/blacksmith/weaver to teach you some basics. Get your mother or grandmother to teach you how to do some canning.  You might even find you like it!

You’ve spent a fair bit of time preparing and learning skills. You have a good idea what you’ll do when the zombies come, and have probably talked about it with your family. Now is the time to look with an objective eye and see what areas you’re still weak in, then focus your energies there.

51 and up
You are pretty prepared. You have the skills, the stores, and the knowledge to allow you to last during a catastrophic event. Just don’t let your skills get rusty! Keep thinking, planning and helping others with their own learning and planning!

As a note, I scored  myself at 44. Still got a ways to go before I feel _really _ prepared.